So, maybe your beginning story wasn't so great…or maybe it
was. You were blasted into a cold world of happy, romantic, baby loving bliss
and you grew up the cherished angel of so many hopes and dreams and then you
became, well, you. Or, you were tricked into coming into a cold dark reality
where you not only had to eek out an existence, but somehow manage to make
sense of it all while holding onto your sanity until you became, well, you. Whichever
the case, with the new year starting all over, I think it’s time we celebrate! It’s
your birthday today or if not today, then another day like it is coming soon
and one of them has to be yours! You were meant to be celebrated, you were
meant to be special, you were meant to be, well, you! Perhaps, depending on the
clarity of your glass, half empty or full, you may want to do something
different fun, even exciting or daring. Maybe, even to learn something new
because today is the first day you will ever be this young again!
Here are some protocol tips to keep you on the receiving end
of well wishers and family. Remember, birthdays only count if you continue to
have them, so be safe!
1. Don’t assume that everyone already knows! If you want to
be celebrated, simple state “Today is my birthday and I want to….” This
sentiment is best practiced on friends and family who have a vested interest in
helping you to make this a great day. Advance notice is also nice in case said
friends or family wants to give you a gift or may be otherwise occupied at the
last minute.
2. If you want to do something wild or adventurous, consider
who you ask. Don’t attempt to coerce others into your fantasy without permission.
I once had a friend invite me to explore a famous cavern for her birthday celebration.
Imagine my horror when we drove four hours to embark upon a six-hour spelunking
trip complete with interior cave exploration crawling on hands, knees and stomach
in tan shorts, a white tee-shirt and with only a headlight in total
darkness! A word to the wise, this is
not the way to keep future friends!!
3. Be prepared to pay if you invite your guest to a
restaurant. I know it sounds crazy but the old rule still applies, unless
offered, if you ask, you pay. Do you ever recall emptying your piggy bank just
to go to someone’s birthday party?? Remember, other than a gift as a token of
celebration, it’s your party and they can pay if they want to… so, pick your
guest and your celebration location wisely.
On the other hand, if someone offers to pay, don’t argue, reach for the
check or cause embarrassment, simply say “Thank You” and smile!
4. Don’t assume special privileges from perfect strangers.
It was once taken for granted that you would receive a small token just for
existing if you proudly announced your special day. The kids would allow you to
move to the head of the cafeteria line, you got to sit in the front seat with
the parents, your boss let you leave a tad early and even restaurants gave
freebies! But today, even if you are able to “have your cake and then eat it
too” you should not expect the same level of wonderment and awe unless you go
to a restaurant that sings and/or you get to wear the special hat!
4. Speaking of Cake, if there are candles, blow gently! Try
to avoid at all cost using flying spittle to help extinguish the flames. Unless
you are in a restaurant or a catered affair, it is also good protocol to cut
the cake and serve your guests first, then yourself. Birthdays do not exclude
you from being a great host/hostess! However, if someone offers to cut and
serve the cake, then you as the guest of honor should be served first!
5. Don’t make friends and family feel obligated to gift you
especially if you have not been an ardent gift giver yourself. By the same
token, if you have given and you do not receive, demonstrate maturity and
remain quiet. (Note: this does not pertain to married people. Be prepared for
emotions and lots of them!) Next year, drop hints before your big day and plan early
to reciprocate in other celebrations. When given a gift, American tradition is
to open it, comment and thank the giver, and yes, protocol dictates that you
should still send a thank you message later. By the way, gift cards to
gas/convenience stores count and make great last minute gifts!
6. Don’t lie. If your day has passed, then accept that today
is about someone else! Don’t milk the celebration by declaring “well, my
birthday was last…!” You will appear petty and selfish and next year, you may
be dubbed ungrateful by more than just your family. If asked, politely state
that your birthday has recently passed and speak about the adventure of it all.
7. If you didn't get the celebration you had hoped for, chin
up! One thing that is certain –if you live long enough, you’ll have another
chance!
I am Pamela Coopwood
and I am “Speaking of Protocol”
Pamela Coopwood is a Certified Trainer of professional
Protocol and Etiquette. Her company, Speaking of Protocol, LLC, a subsidiary of The Planned Event, LLC, offers seminars,
classes and corporate training's to enhance the soft skills necessary to be successful in
today’s business arena.
www.theplannedevent.com/703-615-9525
https://twitter.com/ThePlannedEvent
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